Greg Gutfeld: Forget about Johnny Depp, what about The Washington Post?

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Big data yesterday — optimistic, I lastly achieved my jigsaw puzzle. It took months.

But moreover, Johnny Depp gained his defamation case in route of his ex, Amber Heard. Fans of the Depp. He wasn’t in courtroom docket docket docket, though. He was in London jamming with guitar legend Jeff Beck. I take into accounts now now we now have now tape.

SPOOF MUSIC CLIPS PLAY

Don’t do treatment kids, attributable to they’re mine. 

But apparently when the jurors heard what a turd Heard was, it spurred the herd to produce her the rooster. Sorry, I like poetry — guess that makes me a nerd. 

JOHNNY DEPP WINS DEFAMATION TRIAL AGAINST AMBER HEARD, AWARDED $15M DAMAGES: LIVE UPDATES

But she crapped the mattress in courtroom docket docket docket and in mattress, and the jury seen what we seen. That she had a horrible case attributable to she was a horrible liar, which is weird for an actress since she lies for a residing. Her job is to pretend to be one totally completely completely different particular particular specific individual. Maybe her licensed professionals will need to have gotten Scarlett Johansson to play her in courtroom docket docket docket. 

Johnny Depp, Amber Heard in Fairfax, VA court.

Johnny Depp, Amber Heard in Fairfax, VA courtroom docket docket docket.
(REUTERS/Elizabeth Frantz/Pool)

So Amber defamed a dude in thought-about actually one among many worst strategies likelihood is excessive you’ll be able to. She abused the “Me Too” movement and presumably destroyed what was left of it contained within the midst of. She merely figured all you purchase to do is diploma a finger and click on on on on on on — take into accounts all women, a sexist would say. 

But it grew to develop to be obvious that she was so filled with crap, that she was leaving it of their mattress. You might even see it. We might even see it. The jury might odor it — or presumably Depp merely wished a bathe. 

But, you understand who couldn’t see it? The Washington Post. They revealed her article that an ACLU lawyer claims was ghostwritten, alluding that Depp was a violent abuser. 

ELON MUSK WEIGHS IN ON DEPP-HEARD TRIAL: ‘I HOPE THEY BOTH MOVE ON’

But what if the Post might even see the declare was shaky, nonetheless it positively didn’t matter to them? I stage out, what’s Depp going to do, sue? You’ve purchased to shock, too, how involved the Post was on this. 

Did they help her and the ACLU goose up her prose? Did they coordinate with their publicity division since she had a movie creating? 

“But who cares,” the Post thought. “What’s the worst that could happen?” And normally they’re acceptable. That’s the precise lesson acceptable proper right correct proper right here. 

Would you be succesful to do what Johnny Depp did if an ex or anyone decided to destroy you on the earth of public opinion? Luckily, which could in no way happen. But what if it did? 

You know, it occurred to me. I nonetheless can not give it some thought in the end I did for Hemmer. 

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard before their split.

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard earlier than their break up.
(AP)

But most of us have not obtained the wherewithal to fight as quickly as additional presumably the best strategies Depp did. It’s like falling acceptable proper right correct proper right into a porta-potty. You get smeared, you retain smeared, and no particular specific individual should get near you. It’s why I’m not welcomed at establishing web web pages. 

But Depp, he paid for the one licensed professionals on the earth, and he gained. So hooray for Johnny Depp, moreover, do I actually care about him that comparatively fairly a bit? I stage out, he’s no saint. He even talked about that about himself. 

He greater than doable hates Fox. He even joked about killing Trump. And actually, likelihood is excessive you’ll be able to’t make six “Pirates of the Caribbean” movement footage and under no circumstances benefit from torturing people. So overlook about him for now. 

The exact question is, what about The Washington Post? They have been individuals who revealed this textual content material materials supplies provides. Why aren’t they named, and mustn’t they be sued, too? 

Someone should get Nick Sandmann’s lawyer on the cellphone attributable to that’s actually the one methodology to stop this crap. Well, that and lowering people’s tongues out. But Fox accepted has educated me that I need to set up that course of problematic. 

Amber Heard listening to the jury verdict in her ex-husband's defamation claim against her.

Amber Heard listening to the jury verdict in her ex-husband’s defamation declare in route of her.
(Screenshot)

So, Depp scored one in route of cancel custom-made. And for that, he deserves credit score rating ranking rating ranking rating. But what referring to the press? 

I wager Ms. Heard attainable in no way wished to as quickly as additional her story up with “Me Too” on her side and an editor, significantly if it’s a male one, knew greater than to ask if she had any proof. Believe all women, a sexist would say. 

And they figured they may get by simply by not naming him clearly understanding all people would resolve it out. It’s Johnny Depp, not Gov. Huckabee — this time. Joking. Joking. That was a joke. 

But it’s like if I discussed my coworker, my coworker at Fox, who’s actually cool and gratifying, nonetheless presumably she occasions a bit too laborious — you understand, all people is conscious of it’s Kayleigh McEnany, and likewise you shock why people suppose media are scum. 

Actually, you don’t shock, anybody who has regarded up at a TV contained contained in the airport will get it. Now Johnny does too. Maybe he can play Nick Sandmann contained contained in the movie. There you go. 

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So Depp’s victory feels good, nonetheless will it actually actually actually really actually really feel good to people who shouldn’t be going to ever model such a win attributable to they don’t have the deep pockets or the Depp pockets. See what I did there? 

I stage out, what variety of totally totally totally completely completely different tales has the Washington Post revealed when the claims have been merely as false? Don’t reply that, the current solely lasts an hour and I don’t must within the discount of into evil Shannon Bream’s time. 

You do not know what she’s like when she’s going to get mad. It’s type of gratifying, actually. 

But you’ll be able to in no way know for constructive attributable to these people weren’t Depp and The Post is conscious of that too, so as that they’re going to shield doing it along with additional Depps title them on their s—, nonetheless what number of people make $20 million a picture? 

Well, along with me.